User blog:Elijah888/The story of BlitzForever (real edition)

Guys, my very intellectual friend named Elijah has given me information on what really happened during "The Great BlitzForever (insert word)". This is real info this is not a scam. - Nature was furious. DLE's greed and continued lack of attention to their customers had become unbearable for him. (Or her because it's referred to "Mother Nature") Because of this, Nature began posting messages, which both complained about DLE. Blitz, who was pleasing DL CEO, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) was pertubed by this action. Using his great power, Blitz removed Nature's offensive comments with the reason: Butthurt. Nature was now in primal rage, the Spirit of Chaos (MLP reference I'm sorry) had awoken within him. Blitz was confident since he had DLE on his side, who secretly gave him aimbot. They engaged in a 1v1 battle of skill, but Nature had lost. Nature knew of Blitz's cheating ways, and set on a quest to prove this. Using his disabled account as a boat, he jumped off Westside District with Noisy Cricket and sailed off into the ocean, where he encountered a Pirate Ship. "Yarrrr!" The pirate named Yarrrr said, signaling his small pet Hawk to fly towards Nature. Despite his tiny size he was able to pick Nature put and bring him to the ship.

"And you call us "Dumb Logic"!" DLE Screams in the distance.

After long talks and beer drinkin', the two had figured out a way to exposed Blitz, who unexpectedly already knew about this. Blitz knew he needed backup to assist him. DLE shared 1% of their funds ($800,000) with Blitz.

With a computer in front of him, Blitz began chanting the words displayed on the YouTube summoning tutorial. After this ghostly chant, a dark angel from the land of SCE named Cere appeared before him. "What is it that you wish?" Cere said in a calm tone (since he is in Calm clan). "I wish for the revival of Osmarien!" Blitz answered. Very well, what will you offer?" After this question, Blitz gave the $800,000 to Cere, who then granted the wish. "Your pretty rich m8" He said, disappearing with the money.

On the other hand, Yarrrr and Nature separated to find recruits for their team. Yarrrr sailed towards a city named Gotham. Once again signaling his Hawk, it flew very high into the air, using his eagle eyes yes to find any possible recruits. Suddenly, he heard a manly scream. Directing his attention to this, the Hawk saw that a burglar had been shot in the head, allowing the cops to keep eating donuts. Hawk flew closer towards the corpse, but a bullet passed by, touching an inch of his feathers. The Hawk entered an alerted mode and immediately flew in circles, making the hidden sniper miss each shot. Once the barrage of sniper shots stopped, Hawk flew directly towards the shadowed area (sponsored by the Hindu leader Vishnu) and knocked an unknown object down, only to realize it was just a Tin Fan. (get it Tin Phan=Tin Fan hahaha) The fan blowed some air onto the furious Hawk, who was then shot with a tranquilizer from the opposite building.

Yarrrr's psychic connection with his Hawk was compromised. He knew his pet was in danger. He then lunged out of the boat, and ran passed the gate. Fortunately the guards were still eating donuts, so no blood was shed. With still a little bit of the psychic connection, Yarrrr was able to successfully track down his Hawk, who was locked in a cage. With his sword in his hand, he attempted to slash the cage, only to be stopped by THE DANK KNIGHT!!! Yes I said that on purpose.

"Yarrrr, en grande!" The pirate said, engaging in a fierce battle!

Meanwhile, Nature was roaming around India in search for a Ninja. He theorized that this Ninja would be invisible, so he spammed Spotters. At first, it was very confusing. There were too many people walking around with yellow arrows on their heads, obscuring his vision. However, he saw a faulty problem. There was a yellow arrow without any person under it. This particular arrow seemed to be stalking some guy holding a Samsung S4. Nature intercepted the stealth and ended it, revealing the Ninja to everyone. "My secret "mission"! How dare you! Faizan will have to UNalive you!" He yelled, beginning to fight Nature.

After a day, Yarrrr and Nature met together again in the ocean. After the Hawk brought both people on to the boat, Yarrrr and Nature were pleased with each other, seeing that they have recruited Tr143 and Faizan. Suddenly, the two were in absolute shock. "BRO!" Tr143 and Faizan screamed at the same time and hugged.

"That's pretty gay m8" said everyone

It turned out they were both long lost brothers (they talk so similarly tbh) and continued to say things that can't be understood by a regular human. But after their seemingly endless blableblabering, they got serious, Blitz needed to be stopped before he gains unstoppable power!

Nature slammed the phone, turning towards the team.

"What did he say?" Faizan asked.

"Blitz confirmed the war, it's happening today. We meet here." Nature said, pointing at the map in anger.

"I know that feel man..." Tr143 said.

"Yarrrr! Ye all require some trainin'!" the pirate said, waving his hook in the air.

"There is no time, our past experience will train us on the way. For Blitz, today is the beginning of his end!" Nature proclaimed proudly.

"Aye!" Everyone said in unison.

The proud team of 4 inspired fighters approached Blitz, who was waiting with his arms at his back. "Took you long enough" Blitz said with a little snicker®. "Don't eat your own words Blitz, literally." Faizan mocked him. "Fine, I'll eat a Kit-Kat inste-"

"NOW!" Nature screamed, and Tr143 immediately got his Semi-Automatic Sniper out of thin air and quickscoped Blitz, who was timidly reaching into his pockets. Blitz was hit in the chest, and fell on his back. "Yarrrr!" The pirate said, pointing his sword to Blitz in an attempt to finish him off. While Yarrrr was charging, the Hawk on his shoulder sensed the presence of mighty warriors. Halfway towards Blitz, the Hawk grabbed him and pulled Yarrrr away of the sudden explosion, saving him. Blitz began rising back up. "Hehe, I am wearing the Biker Bandana!" Blitz snickered®.

Then, out of nowhere, the mighty warriors appears beside Blitz. "Osmarien is here to the rescue!" She said, quickly healing Blitz's injuries. "OH MY GOSH ITS THE LEGEND, HELPER OS!" Tr143 said in a Kung Fu Panda tone. "Just Os, please." She replied with a little bit of cringe. On Blitz's other side, was another mighty warrior, holding his Thumper in his hands. "Helu am Spodermen" the warrior said, but the scenery was filled with silence. "I cri evrytiem" the unpopular Spodermen said.

Nature looked at Spodermen and grinned, he had a plan. "You are still outnumbered, Blitz! This war ends today with us holding victory!" Nature said, trying to demotivated Blitz. "Ney, the Blitz will last forever!" He said in reply. "Dat waz teh werst joak evr" Spoderman said and autokilled to end his suffering. "Ha ha! Nature, yer genius plan is best!" Yarrrr said, making Nature bow multiple times. Spodermen then suddenly appeared beside Nature's team. They gasped in shocked, and jumped backwards all together, landing in their defensive stances. "But, you died!" Faizan said, confused. "I respawn." Spodermen answered. "Oh..." Tr143 spoke.

Spodermen tried shooting them with the Thumper, but realized he was experiencing a glitch. Because of the glitch, he respawned in the opposite team instead of Blitz's team. "FIX YOUR BUGS DLE!" Blitz screamed.

"K I has nu chose". Spodermen said this inside of his golden car which just appeared with no explanation. Pure swag was radiating from the car while MLG music was playing in the background. Osmarien was in shock as the car drove towards her in full speed. "Get out of the way Os!" Blitz ordered, but Os was frozen in fear. The car smashed her, putting her in a coma once again.

"Lul." Said Spodermen. "Not to worry, she will Respawn!" Blitz was relieved. However, Tr143 got out his Flare Gun MK2 and shot Osmerien and burned her, permanently restricting her ability to Respawn. Blitz was now in pure, utter anger. "YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!" Blitz shouted in the top of his lungs. Tr143 shot Blitz, but he simply moved to the side and continued to charge. "What the heck? You said you were the best MK2 user!" A confused Nature asked? "Uhhh, I said I might be the best..."

"But there is one thing I AM certain of..." Tr143 said grinning, as he grabbed out his favorite weapon. "IM THE BEST SHOCKWAVE LAUNCHER USER!"

Shooting the gun an Blitz, a large explosion occurred, greatly limiting his vision. After a second, the explosion cleared out. Blitz noticed that one member has disappeared. "Where did Faiz-" Blitz was unable to complete his sentence, since Faizan revealed himself behind him, and pierced him with two knifes. Blitz cried out in pain. "Am bord, I leve." Spodermen said, vanishing instantly, and re-appeared in his swag hideaway to stop a hacker with multiple accounts trying to impersonate him on YouTube.

Ignoring Spodermen, Yarrrr ordered the team to strike. "I say again to ye, EN GRANDE!" He was now holding up both his hook and his sword.

His Hawk flew high into the air, aimed at Blitz's face, and swooped down.

Tr143 ran in full speed with his bare fists (he ain't need no weapon, HE'S BATMAN!!!! )

Nature summoned his allies, the Spirits of Nature, which were souls of rekt animals, and rampaged towards the helpless Blitz.

With their abilities combined, they become Captain Planet hit Blitz at the same time, in various body parts, (Tr143 chose a particular spot ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) killing BlitzForever, forever.

Everyone rejoiced as Blitz's dead body disappeared from the ground, never to be seen again. Suddenly, their everlasting joy was cut short when Faizan realized something. "Wait, if Spodermen respawned, then..."

"You forgot to burn my body..." a voice said. The team gasped as they slowly turn around, seeing Blitz who had respawned, now in his full power, holding the Aristocrat's Shotgun. "I told you, the Blitz will last forever!"

These were the final words our heroes heard, as DLE had already permanently restricted their respawning. In a desperate last resort, each of the members charged together, only to be killed with a single shot. (Except for Tr143 who took 2 shots, he's BATMAN!)

Blitz laughed in the most evil laugh possible, his voice heard thought the lands. He was victorious, or was he?

Observing in the distance, were 4 young members of the SPG, (Strong Parental Guidance Super Power Group) Salam2jari, Hgholt, Elijah, and Voidstorm.

"Call the leader, tell him we need backup for this one. We have a new enemy." The most awesome kid out of the 4 said. (A.K.A Elijah)

Thank you all for reading!